Support for Partners of Sex Addicts

Support for Partners of Sex Addicts

If you have discovered that your partner has a sex or porn addiction, you are no doubt feeling as though your world has fallen apart – whether you have had had suspicions that something hasn’t been right for a long time, or it has come completely out of the blue.

Initially there is likely to be shock, but – as that passes – a rollercoaster of hurt, disbelief, despair, sadness and anger rides roughshod over your every waking thought. You may feel completely lost, no longer knowing who your partner is, who you are, what has been real in your life, or how to move on.

Not only does your partner’s behaviour seem to have become out of control, now you feel out of control, finding yourself lost in hypervigilant behaviours (detective work), anxiety and depression, constant triggers of mistrust about what they say they are doing or where they are going, struggling to focus on work, struggling to sleep, or trying to fix the relationship by changing yourself.

My work with partners initially focuses on helping you to find a sense of safety and stability and to break the huge isolation that you feel when their secret has become a secret you feel you have to keep. Through developing an understanding about sex addiction and the strategies and tools that can help you to cope with the isolation and trauma of discovery, I can help you to reach an understanding that your partner’s behaviour is not your fault or your problem to fix, so that you can focus again on looking after you.

Then, when you feel ready, I can help you to think about the options for the future, whether that’s staying in the relationship and working together to rebuild your trust and the relationship, or to move on and start a life on your own.